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Single and In Love

by: Lindy Tilus

My birthday is coming up, and with Valentine's Day following right on its heels, I feel in some ways that I owe it to myself and the world in general to celebrate more than just my birthday this time around. But, as of press time, it looks like I will go yet again without roses this year.

I never really was one of those girls who was overly concerned about having a significant other. There have been a thousand other things over the years to keep my interest and attention other than boys and flowers. Recently, though, I have found myself wondering when it will be my turn. When will love come my way?

The truth is, however, I'm already in love. I haven't really told anyone about it; it snuck up on me. I fell in love without realizing that's what I was doing, and now here I stand, single and in love.
No, it's not with Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome. I am in love with my friends. I am in love with the faith community I am a part of. I am in love with the people I serve at my job. I am in love with the hurting people I minister to. I am committed to my relationships with them and I am in love.

I'm not talking about an I-love-you-because-it-makes-me-feel-good-about-myself type of love. As a single woman, wanting to be married, I had to face the reality that love was not something I would just wake up with in my arsenal some day when I get married. It's not rational to think we could go from independent, self-focused single adults to sacrificing lovers when we meet "the one."

We learn to love every day by our small choices and actions toward those God has placed around us right now. For the married mom, that is your husband and children. For the single woman, it is the families and friends within your community of support. For all of us, it is those of less fortunate circumstances whom God has placed within our care.

Love begins, not with Mr. Right, but wherever we are building relationships with other people. It is the conscious effort to understand, to value, to provide, to protect, to help, to support, to forgive, to endure. And all of us, single or married, can learn to offer that because it was offered to us first by God.

I might not be getting roses for Valentine's this year, but I can guarantee you I will be spending the day celebrating the relationships that are blossoming around me as I learn the joy of loving well as a single woman.

Who are you in love with? Who are the people God has placed in your life for you to serve and care for? As you eat those little candy hearts and see signs of the season all around, don't forget to take a moment to realize the blessings of living a life of love right where you are.

Bio for Lindy: Lindy is a graduate of Central Bible College. She lives in Springfield, Missouri and serves as the Personnel Coordinator for Chi Alpha Campus Ministries. She is the sister to five brothers and a leader in 20Twenty, a young adult community. She is passionate about spiritual formation and leadership development, and in her free time can be caught playing basketball, reading a good book, or spending time outdoors with friends.


Authors: Lindy Tilus